The Morning After

The Morning After

I so wanted to write a prayer to the Lord on the day of my 60th birthday.  I had done this when I was 40 and it seemed appropriate to do the same thing yesterday.  However, that did not happen.  I do not want to let this moment pass without recording some of what I want to express to the Lord.

Dear Lord, 

Yesterday I passed a milestone that I'm still trying to wrap my head around.  I am 60 years old.  When I type it, it seem so daunting, but sitting here at my computer, it doesn't seem any different that when I was typing on a typewriter at age 30. I am the same person or am I.  

For several weeks, I have been thinking and praying about what this next season would look like for me. What is it you are trying to say to me as I cross over into what I call the winter season 60-80? Normally winter is a mixed bag for me.  Some days I love that it is snowing outside and I am inside with my family cozy and warm.  Other days winter is keeping me from enjoying the outdoors, being at the beach, relaxing in a pool or sitting on my patio. 

Winter is a time that requires more preparation than the other months.  Many days I have to bundle up just to go outside.  My car and home require maintenance to survive the winter.  Even though I do not hate winter, it is my least favorite season. Only because I like the other seasons better.  I don't want that to be true of my winter season of living.  

I saw many changes in the fall season of my life (40-60).  I had a baby at 42 that was a defining moment in my life.  I saw my older children grow up, graduate from college, get married, move away and have children of their own.  Fall for me was a season of doing.  Mainly doing for others.  As I strived to care for my family, my parents were needing care as well.  I was pulled, stretched, and many times exhausted from physically taking care of others.  

In this winter season, I am sensing You are saying to me that I need to 'be' more than 'do.'  What does that look like?  I have always loved others through serving them.  I enjoy helping others.  Being is harder for me than doing.  

I want to be present in the moments, not controlling them but embracing them.  I want to sit back and wait on your leading instead of forging ahead and asking for your blessing.  I want to continue enjoying being your daughter, daily sitting at your feet, and then moving forward with what you have for me that day.  I want to think often about this verse in Matthew 6:34 and let it guide my thinking on a daily basis.  "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.   This verse brings me so much peace and comfort.  In it you are asking me to live in the moment.  To be present each day for those you put in my path.  

There is no need to worry about anything beyond today.  What is it you are asking me to do today?