August 17.
A few days ago I texted a friend about her son and mentioned that John was going to college. This is the text I got from her 'The empty nest is great . . . just don't make the mistake of getting a dog! We did & now we are back to using sitters & doggie day camp!' This was my reply to her 'That is how I got John. When Buddy and Erin asked for a dog, I said I would rather have another baby than a dog.' When I found out I was pregnant at 42, I remembered that comment immediately.
I know many people have children that they don't plan and I am always interested in their story. Well here's mine.
When Erin was in 4th grade, I went through a Bible study called Experiencing God. At that time, I sensed God calling me to homeschool her. Soon afterward, we started a church and that thought went right out the window. In 1997, I did the Bible study again at my new church. One day as I was doing the homework, there was a question that said, 'What has God asked you to do that you have not done?' Immediately, my mind went back to when she was in 4th grade. Over the next few weeks, I talked with her and Bill and we decided that I would homeschool her for 8th grade. It was so far-fetched that when she told people she was going to be homeschooled, people would ask 'Who is going to teach you?' To say the least, I was not a homeschooling mom.
However, I wanted to be obedient to what the Lord was calling me to do and we began in the fall of 1997. I decided to buy a journal and use it as a prayer journal of our year together. Here are the last 2 entries of that journal:
April 15, 1998
Dear Lord, Are you opening our eyes to a new place? Is that place Tuscaloosa or B’ham. Between what I wrote Monday and today we received a call from a new Body in Tuscaloosa. Is this where you are going to let Bill go to get a rest. I see Your hand and I trust Your heart.
Does this time of rest also include a new baby? The last thing I thought I would ever be dealing with at 41 years old. I have mixed emotions. After the year I’ve spent with Erin, I have learned that obedience brings blessing. I know that Your plans for me are perfect and I want to stay in for the long haul.
My commitment to you is firm and I look forward with anticipation to what you have planned for me and my family. I love You, Amen
April 16, 1998
Dear Lord, When I first started this journal last July, I never dreamed that the last page would be about having a baby. How unbelievable You are. I bought this book because it was titled ‘Down in the Garden’ and my desire for Erin and I this year was to plant my life in hers. As the weeks went by, I saw more and more that was Your plan, too. However, every picture in the book was of babies.
To say that I am floored is an understatement. To say that I’m excited to see your plans for us is very true. I know you are working. I know your love and plan for us exceeds our highest expectations. I can’t wait. I pray that these next months will be time of growing together as a family as we prepare to nurture a new life. I love the way you love me.
Your favorite child, Allyson
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It has been almost 20 years since I wrote that journal post. I have seen 2 of my kids finish college, marry and have their own children.
I am excited to see what God is going to do as John takes the next step. This evening has been spent thinking about him and praying for him. I wrote him a short note and shared these journal entries with him. I wanted him to know that I was excited when I found out I was pregnant with him and I am still excited to see how God uses his life for His good and His glory. My mom always said - 'he was the gift you didn't know you needed.'
Parenting never ends but it does change and change is hard. I am beginning a new season of parenting. I'm praying that the Lord continues to show me how to parent from my new position, the sideline.
